October 27, 2010


My Marriage Story..

Kris & Colin BullaOver the years I’ve shared the story of how Kris and I dated, married, and now nearly a decade later how powerful our relationship remains. After sharing the story again today I was encouraged to blog about it so that others may learn or benefit from our experience. So, here goes!

The story of our marriage really starts nearly sixteen years ago when we had met when Kris came down to meet the rest of her recently discovered and previously unknown family in Florida. One of my best friends had found her in Michigan and once making contact with her, and ironically calling me to tell me he’ got a sister, she had decided she needed to know some other people who shared her last name and dad. It was a short visit, ending all to soon for me as she and I had hit it off from the start. I knew at that first meeting I was going to marry her! She wrote me, I didn’t write back (hey.. I was having trouble writing something that didn’t sound like Beavis and Butthead scribbled out some lame letter) and when she was down again I had a girlfriend who would have flipped her  lid. My gut was saying one thing, my commitment another… oh the struggle.Fast forward a few years, the girlfriend I had chose to move on and after some recovery time to find my ego again (yeah, guys really have a tough time with getting ‘dumped’) I contacted my friend, John, showed up with man flowers (a sixpack of beer!) and asked 3 questions.

Me: “Hey, is your sister still single?”  – John “Funny you should ask…”

Me: “Happen to have her phone number?”  – John “Funny you should ask again..”

Me: holding up man flowers “Can you call her please?” – John.. dialing phone..”Here ya go..”

I ended up leaving a phone number, had a few beers and headed home. I was pretty excited that I had taken the step to contact the woman who had intrigued me so many years ago!

The following afternoon, a week before her birthday, I received a call back and thus started the long distance relationship that Kris and I carried for 2½ months. Sunset vowsAt some point during our conversations I had mentioned “You know what, Kris? I’m going to marry you.” It was almost 3 weeks before we met in person when I flew up to see this amazing woman who captured my heart years before.

When I landed at the airport, my heart was racing. What Kris didn’t know was that I had a ring in my pocket and we didn’t make it 50 steps past the initial meeting point at the terminal before I stopped her, pulled the beautiful silver ring from my pocket and put it on the ring finger of her left hand. I remember the whole weekend vividly.. our drive to Sault St Marie, MI.. the weekend there adventuring and hiking, and eventually ending with our travel back to Detroit for my flight home.

It was a few weeks later when Kris surprised me with a visit south where she learned that Ft Myers, FL was a 24 hour drive from Detroit (1385 miles), she did get to here and we had another amazing long weekend together. It wasn’t to much later that she flew down and ultimately, eloped to Captiva, FL  for our marriage. A month later, I flew to MI and we moved her down to Florida.

There are some amazing benefits the relationship that we’ve cultivated. We spent time on the phone talking about virtually everything in our previous relationships that we liked and did not like. We literally shaped and laid out what we wanted to create in OUR relationship, how it was going to look, our theories for child raising, adventures we wanted to have, even how we both respected that we’ve got friends of both genders and we’re both of us flirtatious in nature and thats OK.

Well, you can see the results. Over 9 years and 3 kids later we’re still together, happy, growing together through personal growth work thats run from TMC productions to medicine wheels and the work with David Essel. We’ve had a commitment to always support individual paths and never put each other down or ridicule if something didn’t work out (laughing at something silly or that didn’t cause permanent injury is fair game). Our kids seem to reflect what we model as well. I’m proud of the relationship that Kris and I have forged over the years and hope that my writing out of our story inspires others!

1 Comment »

  1. James Gillespie says:

    Thanks to you letting read this. Cool.

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